Thursday, August 20, 2009

Unfit for forseeable future

Yesterday went to see new shrink,as my actual one is on holiday for a few weeks. I told him about my hair loss from the Depakote and he said he will reduce it and see how we go. I also told him sleep was a problem, I asked for some Temazepam and he said he will give me some in the short term. It should be dropped off tommorow so that will be good.

This week my mood has been low. Low enough for me to contemplate swallowing the sleeping tabolets I have -one zolpidem doesn't work but 36 might eh! and they're so easy to swallow being tiny. I have spent week on sofa, when I have to go out, to go nursery then I think people are watching me and I keep seing people I met in hospital, including staff. The shrink said that last time I went for appointment with my usual doctor I told her I was responsible for swine flu, I think I am more concerned at having no recollection of this than how dellusional it sounds. THE DRUGS ARE EATING MY BRAIN.

Today I went into work and saw occupational health, I told her I have every intention of coming back to work on the 4th september as need to get out of house and need money. She said sorry but she can't allow that as from what I am telling her about my memory and concentration and sleep she thinks it will make my condition worse, she said she will see me in a week but if no change she will advise mangers to not allow me back. I'm not sure what this will mean -I have been off work for five months since first hospitalised and before that I was only at work for few months after another six month break. Think they may try and dismiss me under capability. And so I am unfit for the forseeable future. Filled in my Employee support form over phone so will see how it goes.

1 comment:

Mandy said...

Hi Lareve

I am not going to write what should and shouldn't be because the bottom line is we have to deal with what is.

I feel for you and the job situation. Not purely from the money angle but because, even though when I gave up work it was the best thing for all concerned, It is like a big chunk of life disappearing. That isn't to say something/s won't change in the future and you will not work again but now...is like the ending of something. Wishing for you, sooner rather than later, the start of something better.

Sometimes, is a case of holding on...to ourselves as best as..although I am not in your shoes. Just want to send some warmth and support.

Gonna shut up now and go sleep xxx