Tuesday, February 2, 2010

ESA been withdrawn- pushing me over edge

Got my laptop back after two weeks os can make a blog post.

At the moment am vey low/upset and stressed and trying to aoid usual slf destructive copying mechanisms *(i.e avoiding taking the tablets I hve bought)

Last week mood was fine. in factit wasbetter than fine. High as kite CC put it.

But as they say what goes up must come down and it did with a mighty thud.

Yesterday gotletter from DWP. I had medical assesment fo ESA bck in October and got result. I had socred 0 points out of 15 and wasn;t entittled to any ESA.

I can't understand WHY. A few months ago I got awared high rate care and low rate mobility DLA. And now I'm appararantly fit for work.

Apparenty I can appeal but this involves putting together documents, prooving I am ILL. I will then have to stand up in front of a tribnal while they ask me questions over and over agian about why I am ill and how my illness effects me. I really don't think I have the strength. I know I don'tbut I need the money.

I asked for a copy of the medical report from the ESA medical bitch doctor and she has put I suffer fom mild/moderate depression. I'm notsure why shehas put thiswhen my CPA,DLA forms and sick ntes all state Bipolar disordr with psychotic features. She has put things I do regularly like go out with friends and to the supermarket alone which I don't and can't do and told her I couldn't do. Also apparently I looked well kept and could hold a conversation which was indicative of my complete mental health. (you have to look like a tramp and mumble to be really ill you know)

I know I COULD appeal but I don't have the strength to put together a case and no-one to help me really. CC is away for two weeks and I have 30 days to appeal. I can;t put myself through a tribunal it will kill me, it already is.

Maybe I should get a job but was sackedfrma pathetically simple onein september for instabiliy/sickness, and who would employ me with my sickness record. I am not allowed to drive because of the Bipolar to get to a job and can't face the mutiple bus trips.

I feel like a useless parasite who obviously can't be ill to score 0 points. I don't understand why I was admitted ino hospital 4 times in last year. Feeling pushed over edge don't want to do anything silly. And there are people with real problems. I am pathetic.


Kate said...

OK, 1st off - breathe and calm down.

This sounds to me like an almightly big fuck-up. These guys are utterly capable of getting it wrong and bodging up medicals. It happens all the time and my opinion they do it deliberately to deter people from claiming/appealing.

MAKE AN APPEAL. From what you state you will likely win. I know it's horrible but you have a strong case and it seems that they've made some kind of mistake here
You don't need to do it on your own. Go to your local CAB/advice centre - they should be able to sort it for you. When you go to the appeal, make sure you take someone with you. A CPN, social worker or someone who knows you well. They're entitled to comment to back up your case. Do it. You have nothing to loose (other than your sanity!!!)

Good luck,

ron peponis said...

I agree with Kate - fight this shit!

David said...

Sorry to hear of all this shit - ditto Kate - definitely definitely make an appeal - they want to get you at the first hurdle - apparently they often lose their bottle if you get past that.

Take care, Dx

Anonymous said...

Can you get a lawyer? In the states you can get a lawyer who will only charge you if you win.

I just went through a federal investigation and at the end they tried to take away my bennies. I got a lawyer and appealed and I won.

werehorse said...

What a mess. There's quite clearly been a mistake, your medications, hospitalisations and the fact that your driving license has been taken away are indicators of severity and should have been taken into account.

I know you don't feel like you can deal with this right now, but please try to find someone who can help you appeal, because this is just wrong.

Take care x

Serial Insomniac said...

Go to the Citizen's Advice Bureau. They are wonderful. I'm appealing my ESA claim; I was awarded it, but was put into the work rather than support group, which is frankly ludicrous, as is the decision in your case.

The CAB will write the appeal letter and, when you receive a date for the tribunal, you take the supporting evidence from your psychiatrist etc to them, they put together a case for you, then accompany you to the tribunal. As I understand it, they then do the majority of the talking for you (you'll still have to do a bit, but it's certainly not all down to you). You can still bring a friend or family member on top of the CAB rep for support.

I went to them for my DLA claim and they were outstanding. Since you clearly have a strong case, I'm sure they could help.

Take care, and lots and lots of luck with this.

SI x

trio said...

Appeal it, I got 12 points and wish I had appealed. But wasn't strong enough to cope. Now I am living off very part-time hours and an understanding partner! She also stated that I was fine to go places on my own etc. I had to bring my partner and was a gibbering wreck. She was actually quite rude at the time!

eccedentesiat said...

Appealing doesn't mean going to tribunal. They only go that far if your appeal is unsuccessful. It is definitely worth going to your CAB and getting help with this as you're obviously deserving. Your ESA is reinstated on the day they receive you appeal so the sooner the better really..

Take care you xx

la said...


It really seems to be the case that if you're capable of filling in a form and keeping an appointment you're judged fit for work. That's why abysmal and I decided to start the ShITE campaign - shit in the envelope ;)

What everyone else has said - make an appointment to see someone at the CAB (ask for someone with experience in benefits and get an appointment rather than go to their open days << you don't need that stress.)

I went through this last year. I know it throws you into such a huge panic and the implicit judgment is very hard to bear but I won and you will too x

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