Got up to day with stomach ache feeling awful after overdose. Another one I have survived- not sure I'm happy about that but as my body decided to reject the tablets this time either it or a superior being wants me alive for now.
Got a call from new care-co-ordinator today regarding hospital yesterday, asking if she can see me today. I advised coming into Stonebridge for an appointment with Psychiatrist anyway, then low and behold the office has no recollection of such an appointment. I think they, like my GP on monday think I'm going crazy and no longer in touch with reality(though In relaity I am more self-aware than they are). Anway after explaining I have my care paln where Dr. has written appointment they finally contact psychiatrist, who apparently double booked?
Anway I did an uncharacteristic thing and flew off handle saying sate of mental health service rubbish, GP rubblish, them trying to control me rubbish, A and E and waiting for bloody 'crisis' team is rubbish etc... so can she please take me off books and leave me alone as feel they are making things much worse and I am no longer in state of co-operation.
After some persuasion I agreed to let her come and see me this PM. When she arrived had a chat. think she seems pretty o.k, very honest and agreed I have been treated badly and that flaws in system etc, which doesn't change any of this crap, but does make me warm to her a little. She also managed to talk me around to seeing Psychiatrist next tuesday and she will attend also. So for now I am back in co-operation, care-coordinator seems to want to help more than others but I will reserve judgement until I can fully evaluate her motives and actions as I had all these promises from 'crisis' team before, and yet didn't really improve a lot under their care- mainly form the negative effect of the Citalopram they kept pushing on me.
I guess for now I'll play the waiting game and hope I don't feel the need for repeat of yesterday . If it does happen no way I'm going A&E again. Waste of bloody time.
1 comment:
Hi Lareve
Wanted to let you know have found your blog.
Sorry to hear about the goings on with inappropriate support and your overdose attempt. I understand how things (lack of empathy from services added to your own illness and states) can push you to the edge. I am back and forward to the edge more times than I have been patronised by MH staff!!!
Hope the new care co-ordinator helps. Even by being there for you, that is one small step to something positive. Well we can live in hope can't we?
x
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