I having taking Depakote for a week now. Not convinced it;s doing me any good though as my mood has been more erractic this week. Not sure if it's just the way my mood is but I am feeling quite angry again this time it is directed at illness and partly NHS. I was talking with my friend and we decided that since I was reffered to MHS back in May I have seen no improvements at all and in fact illness and things have got worse. Now I'm sure my CC or whoever will say that it the natural progression of the illness and would have been this way whether under their care or not.
I know they think I am now Bipolar because of the mood swings but I think it is because I am so mixed up and fed up with recent goings on. I have had 4 med changes in 6 months, 3 different diagnosis. been seen by first the healthvisitor then a CPN from Crisis then transferred to CMHT Care co-ordinator. So I think I am lacking a bit of consitency which is causing the not knowing whther coming or going feeling.
I'm not sure I ever was ill , or not as ill as they are making out, I feel I am being compartmentalised so they can shoove me with a diagnosis, a load of meds and say 'there you go- now get on with you rlife'. which is all well and good but they don't have to deal with repercussions of side-effects from meds and job limitations with such a medical history.
And so I have decided that I am going to discharge myself from the community mental health team, and try and take back my life before there is nothing left to take back. I do wonder if this is the right decisions but given the last 6 months had I been doing it alone couldn;t have been worse so why use the resources??
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