Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Who needs streamers

Yesterday I decided I didn't want to see the year in with chamapgne and streamers. I wanted to bring it in sitting on the wrought iron seats of A and E, getting prodded, and tested. Well actually to be honest I didn't want to see it in at all. And I was a day too early (note to self - buy diary). I had it all planned shut myself in bedroom with 5 packs paracetamol, I wrote a note and everything. By chance, My partner, the partner who never checks on me came up and stopped me after only 30 tabbies. Drat. A fight insued to snatch the reaminders away. I hate that he had to see that. He said he would tell my mum if I didn;t go to hosital and I couldn;t have that.
So from 11pm until 3.15 pm I could be found loittering my usual haunt. I have been upgraded I now get shown directly to my own booth and they even get someone to watch me and make sure I don't leave. The VIP treatment. As usual my liver is holding fort. I am medically fit - is how they put it.
I saw crisis team at hospital, they said they recognised me - one had seen me at hospital before and the other had spoken to me on the phone. The day I decided to rant at poor unsuspecting phoner about crappy services etc. Steve and Lee. It's never good when you are a familar face to eachother.
And CC is off sick, so today I get a lovely visit at 4pm from duty worker at CMHT along with Crisis, who apparently may be having some INPUT. I have guests coming over at 5pm for joviality and new year falsiness. Happy 2009!


Mandy said...

It may sound pants but I am kinda relieved you went to hospital. Overdoses can do damage to organs and being somewhere where the phsyical affects can be monitored is best place...

As for the pyschological side of things...Christmas is not only a difficult time for many people but it is a time when getting access to CMHT members is difficult, if not impossible. Everyone deserves a break though so I guess, hospital at least provides a central place from which other MH staff can get involved in supporting you.

If it was me I would say "Sorry but the party's cancelled". It is not me, it is you and you need to do what you think is best in regards to jollifiations...false or whatever.

Phone ringing so signing off

Go easy there xx

Anonymous said...

I wish I had something to make this a bit easier for you, but I don't. Please try to be gentle with yourself La-reve, however dark it seems.

Lola x

werehorse said...

I'm glad you are ok La-Reve, please try to stay safe.

Happy New Year x

La-reve said...

Thanks for comment, had guests over and went ok.

Yes, you cna;t say anything but your support and comments mean a lot.

Thanks for stopping back and understanding :)

Nick said...

Sorry if this is too personal to ask but did you go to the QMC? I ended up there after a kind soul persuaded me not to go leap off a bridge, it wasn't a good time :( I feel like that despairing sensation is coming over me again and I don't know if I can or even want to count on being bailed out again. Have you ever called the crisis team? I have their number but I daren't do it because I'm terrified of phones and I don't think I can explain my whole situation clearly without sounding like an attention seeker :(

La-reve said...

Sorry you are in bad place. Yes I went to QMC I have been there several times. I don;t really find the whole atmosphere and process productive but there is little where else.
I don't mean to put you off the crisis team. I have spoken,and met with some very good workers there but some bad ones too. I really think you should have a care-co-ordinator. I was under crisis team for 10 weeks and saw one particular worker. They did help me a little. What I did is go and see GP tell them about your thoughts and risks and they will refer you as you can;t really refer yourself to have them come and visit you, which you may need.
The crisis team will talk to roseberrys and see you get more support.