Thursday, January 29, 2009

MY MHA Assesment

Had a routine out patient appointment with Shrink this morning. soemthing which I expected to last half an hour. But didn't. During our chat she said she was very concerned at my thoughts and actions. Apparently my risk are increasing over time not decreasing as they should do. Hospital was mentioned. The thoughts were getting too much. New CC was there she seems ok, but I am used to R. Both of them attended and shrink and all three looking and talking got too much and so I got up and walked out. I was just so anxious. I wasn't going to come back, but I did . Thats when I was told that it might be time for me to come into hospital. I didn't want to, and so she said they were arranging for a Mental Health Act assesment with a view to sectioning. I could wait or if I left they would come and find me.

And so I waited. I wanted to go home for my mobile but had to be accompanied by two workers. I went back and had my assesment three hours later.

I hope CC isn't reading this. But I did what instinct told me and said exactly what I felt I needed to say to keep me off the wards. I understood I was ill, I wanted to change and I was willing to try whatever meds offered. blah blah blah.

Result= No admission but daily visits from Crisis team. A promise to go back on the Seroquel and to take time off work to sort things out.

I think it was all a bit OTT. I am not suicidal and can't see why when for the first time I feel like I am getting things together (slowly) they pull this. I feel confused and I don't think I will take the meds. As for Crisis I will believe their support when I see it. Oh and work are overjoyed at me taking more time off.


Lola Snow said...

Oh Lareve, that sounds horrible, I'm sorry that you had to go through that. Please stay safe though, just because you aren't suicidal doesn't mean that you can't hurt yourself by mistake if you're under a lot of pressure.

Lola x

Polar Bear said...

Yeah, tough one, with work. I think you should take some time off too, just to sort things out. You need to take care of yourself first. But I do understand that can be tough from a work point of view.

Maybe you can negotiate some part time work with your boss? That way you get some breathing space and you are not completely away from work.

Abysmal Musings said...

That does sound horrible. And counter-productive. Sometimes I think these people roll dice to decide on their attitude for the day.

Keep safe, and if you do feel you are slowly getting things together, then keep that in your mind to hang on to your self-confidence.

Just because they decide to have a 'concerned' day doesn't necessarily mean much more than all those days when they think you're fine when you're not (speaking from personal exp).

Again keep safe, D

La-reve said...

Thanks everyone
Yes horrible but over. Crisis have rung and coming tommorow

Nick said...

Oh Lareve that sounds really scary, I hope you are OK :( I'm panciking about what I wrote on my stupid CBT assessment form now.. it'll probably work it's way back to the psychiatrist and I don't want to end up in hospital either :(

Take care *hugs*

La-reve said...

Thanks Nick
I don;t think you have to worry about the CBT forms. I put all kinds on mine. They will only tell your Psychiatrist if you pose an immediate danger to yourself.
yeah pretty horrible week but it could be worse. I could be locked up somewhere. Did you get a care co-ordinator?

Nick said...

Yeah but I wrote quite honestly about my suicidal feelings... I can see how they could interpret that as being a danger to myself, especially since I took myself to A&E a while ago because I thought I was in danger of killing myself.

I hope you are coping with things, it sounds really hard.

I don't know what's going on with care coordinators etc. My mum phoned the psychiatrists and told them I wanted to see someone different and they wrote back with just a card saying I have an appointment with the consultant in March. I have my CBT assessment session on Monday though.