Friday, January 30, 2009

Today has been very bizare. I just can;t get my head around what happened yesterday, and that on someone elses whim I could be in hospital forced to take whatever med they fancied.

The so-called 'crisis' team came to see me this morning. Same questions. Have you taken meds, anyhting planned for today, anything planned for next few days? . How is your mood? ok ring us if you need us. What a waste of time. I can't believe I am back under their care. It's all I can think of either a) I am iller than I think and too ill to realise or b) I am as I think ok, and they are overeacting/ wanting me to be a good little puppy. I DON'T KNOW.

They want me to be sedated on meds. They don't like that I question things, and have my own views. My behaviour is apparently risky. So I have to take the meds or go into hospital and be forced to take them. Not a lot of choice there is there?. I won't say what I am doing about the meds right now.

I think I am going crazy now. Why did they have to screw everything up. I am anxious and can't sit. The thoughts are bombarding me and I don't want to do anything that will jepordise my freedom. Why did I go to the damn appointment. I won't be making that mistake. they can shove their 'help' I was doing fine alone.

4 comments:

Disillusioned said...

Be safe.

Sorry it is all so confusing right now.

Jessica said...

Hi Lareve,

I hope things will work out for you.
Stay safe.

Hugs.

crazyasuka said...

:(

I understand you. I would feel terrified. The lack of freedom, the claustrophobia. They keep you but you aren't even sure if they can handle you. How to trust them?

Mandy said...

Hi Lareve

Passing through before I slink back to bed.

MH services equals one hell of maze....usually you the exit leads you to a car park in the middle of nowhere.

As for sedation. Honey, all the meds sedate in one way or another. Some sedate and it's okayish..others it's a one way trip to Planet Zog.

Hugs from here xxx