Tuesday, June 22, 2010

No longer suicidal.

Ok. I am still here and no longer suicidal.

In response to last post and comments. I have decided to keep blog for now. To whoever passed blog on to CMHT. It's fine don't worry. I don't care. I may have done something similar out of concern. I don't intend on going back and editing things - though- 1.I don't think I should have to, and 2. I don't have time or inclination. So they can take me to court if they like.

I can safely say if it wasn't for Trust intervention I would be dead now. I'm not happy to be alive. I resent beng saved but I am having an up turn at moment, so I will ride this out. and enjoy.

Today- I have sorted out sons room, Been garden centre - repotted all plant pots. done supermarket shop. Done four loads of washing and ironing and cleaned whole house. Very busy. All things which needed doing as done nothing for last 3/4 week been too depressed.

At moment it is about 1.30am and I have spent last two hours mastering the dance to Beyonce- single ladies (or at least I think I have - but given the look on neighbours face who caught glance of me in knckers I could be delusional).
I think I may have to put in complaint about way trust treated me over last crisis. If someone hadn't forwarded them this blog I would have been left unsupported. Problem is t seems like all I do is compalin, and so justget labelled with difficult patient or maybe even the borderline thing will rear its head..sigh..

To make things worse I had visit from crisis over weekend. saturday- Good worker I have met before. Had nice, helpfull chat. Sunday- man came, stinking of booze, clearly intoxicated and said ' I don't know what to say..this visit just formality and left' - helpful, not - luckily I didn't want/need support.

Anyway thats all really. Am off to learn rest of dance. x


Bippidee said...

Hmmm, I hope that things really are improving and that you aren't just saying that for fear of someone reading your blog etc.

Have fun with the dance! x

fine fine fine said...

La-reve I too hope that you are really ok. And it does sound that you have not been treated well / been neglected. Just because you complain doesn't make you the difficult one, it means that the services are in the wrong. Hope things improve x