Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Very tired today. could not sleep last night drove to airport at 2 am. Was going to get on flight to somewhere. Not sure, anywhere really. Somewhere where no one knows me and I can clear my head. Got out and looked at departure board but couldn't figure out where I would go and what I would do when got there. Sat watching happy people off on their holidays, families looking close couples hand in hand. Funny how other peoples life seems so perfect when you're watching from the outside. For a minute I wanted to be that happy young couple, I wanted to be the mum pushing her twin buggy, I even wanted to be the old lady hurrying along to check in. I imagined I was a professional off for a business meeting far away, or I was travelling miles to meet up with long lost relatives. don't know how long was there but got back home in early hours, can't remember driving home, half thought I had dreamt going but receipt from airport shop. Today I have been baking - bannana bread and tidying for visit tommorow. House already tidy but felt I needed to do this. No trip out tonight hoping for a little sleep.

3 comments:

Seratonin said...

Hi I have linked to your blog.Hope the visit from social services (is it today ?)isn't too awful.

Hugs

Sis xxx

Lareve said...

Hi yeah they came and went. Told me they don't see why H.Visitor referred me as don't need their support and have no concern re:the care of my son. Which is it good, but H.visitor who came with her looked dissapointed guess she must think mental health probs= bad mother. Thanks for link x

mandy lifeboats appeal said...

Hi Lareve

Banana bread. How delish. Save some for me, please.

Sorry you felt need to go to airport. Can understand it but hope you are able to plan something which can be therapeutic for you. Even a weekend somewhere, where there is space to breath and just be. whatever you plan make sure you are safe though.

xx