Last night couldn't sleep so went for walk by Trent, was cold but water so peaceful, didn't look deep, looked almost like it was a hard surface and I was tempted to try and walk on it. Was worried about work.
Went into work 9-11 at work, was hard. People asked me why I was off and made comments that I was allowed to do reduced hours and it wasn;t fair. I felt like telling them I would swap the last five months since off with them and do full time hours to erase all that. Had 575 emails to go through, some junk, some meetings I had missed etc. I hated being there felt almost exposed as open plan office just wanted to hide in some corner on my own but desk is in middle or room. I found out that my colleagues have been warned to leave me alone for a bit. so much for being inconspicuous. Feel like I am the companies token loon. Will have to try hard to not walk out tommorow.
Bought some more paracetamol, total count 192.
2 comments:
You took a huge step just going into work. I worried that I would just walk out at work many times. And if I walked out, I probably would not have had the nerve to return. I know it is hard, if not impossible, but don't let your coworkers get you down.
Thanks for comment Pink Floyd, just worried it will set me back or will lose it, and be so embarassed won't be able to ever work there. but will see how go. x
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