Don't know what to write here today, thoughts buzzing and I could write about everything but where to start and can't put them together in adequate way. This morning woke with cuts on arm, i don;t remember doing this but must have done I guess. Don;t know what is happenign with me at moment. Confused. Still struggling to seperate what is real etc and remember things, its like my life is evaporating and I'm just this person today with no history or memory, none that I can recall anyway. Can't remember being ill, or how and why under MH services, can't remember going uni or even giving birth to son, but I know I must have he is here.

Part of me knows these thoughts aren't good and I'm being irrational but war in my head between that part and the part that thinks everyone is out to get me, that I am evil, that I'm doing wrong, that by being here I'm hurting everyone, and trust no-one. The part that makes me act impulsively without fear of consequences and that part is winning.