Sunday, February 8, 2009

Keeping busy

Had a busy few days. Have been doing a lot of cooking and a lot of walking. Walked about 10 miles in two days. This is a lot for me. I cook for about 3 hours a day. I have missed my mornings this week. They have been extremely hazy thanks to the Seroquel. I am signed off this week but due back into work next week and I'm not sure how I am going to get up at 7am on these meds.

I have applied again for a volunteer job with the samaritans and also a volunteer job at the cafe of the local forensic unit under the MHS. This along with my normal job (if I'm not sacked on my return) will keep me pretty busy. Better busy than the alternative. I have also applied for some charity runs in spring.

It has been 6 weeks on Tuesday since my last overdose. If I was to follow some sort of pattern I would be due a depressive spell leading to a OD about now. But I haven't been depressed in this time. Considering my moods were changing weekly before xmas is something. If I am honest though I am keeping myself that busy that depression can't creep in. When I get a quiet minute at night I can feel the voices telling me how crap I am how worthless, how pointless my actions and my life is.I find myself staring into space again, but then I get up and go for a walk or take my Seroquel or some Temazepam.

And that's all I have to report for the last few days. I have had some continuos sleep the first time in about eight months and the week has been quiet which is welcome after the chaos of last week.


Lola Snow said...

Glad to hear that you are safe and well, and keeping busy. Mind you don't take on too much, though I'm sure you won't. Take Care Lareve it's so good that you are forward planning. Ignore the voices, you are lovely and totally NOT pointless.

Lola x

Mandy said...

Hi Lareve

Echo Lola's words.

Am worried that you could become too busy and either that will burn you out or aggrevate the hyper side of things although don't want to be telling you what you should do.

Take care xx

Jessica said...

Hi Lareve,

I'm glad that you are ok. Like Mandy, I'm worried that you would be overload with work and be overwork. I have been feeling like you. l

I know that you are feeling better but please listen to your body and take a break when you need to, ok?

Here for you.


La-reve said...

Thanks Everyone
I know it sounds a lot but I feel if I'm not busy all the time then the thoughts will creep in and I will find myself back at A and E or an acute ward. Trying to pace myself.