Wednesday, March 11, 2009

I have lost it, I have very conflicting thoughts in my head and don't know what is real. I couldn't sleep last night and worte this letter to shrink which I took in today. It explained how I feel. I can't go into here because I think others will see and I'm not supposed to tell anyone but I think I am either very special or very evil. Wish they would leave me. I can't drown them out I can't hear those around me. Shrink away so will get letter tomorrow. I burnt and cut myself cooking. How can I work like this, I was doing well at surviving but that isn;t working. Or is it. I'm confused. sorry this doesn't make sense.


Abysmal Musings said...

Take care Lareve - give me a bell if you like - D x

Hannah said...

I am thinking of you Lareve, Wish there was something I could say or do to help your situation, please stay strong,
sending you lots of hugs and best wishes,

Hann xx

Disillusioned said...

Thinking of you. Hope you can get some help through your shrink.

Mandy said...

Hi Lareve

This might sound awful and I apologise if it does. perhaps you need to go to A&E because I think you need to be safe and i hope that the MH professinal/s based there will see that you are in need of safety and help.

I wish I had more faith in your MH team but they seem to contradict themselves and also your care co-ordinator is coming across as a heartless piece of work who doesn't care if you live or die.

Well, I care. You know I am around (here) and empathetic but I am not there and can't get you to a place of safety.

There is a time for going into acute care and although modern units, such as I know them, are not the warm and furry places they used to be..I do think you need more direct care support right now...possibly some time out and space to get back on a level (okay so you will almost certainly have to take meds in there but they might help).

I know this sounds contradictory in some ways because I haven't got a lot of faith in systems and how care is provided but acute care could, at least, give you some breathing space and opportunity to get well enough to cope.

Feel free to write here or private and tell me I am talking crap or tell me anything.

Am thinking of you and sending love


Anonymous said...

Please stay safe Lareve, honesty might be the best policy if you can. Thinking of you

Lola x

Mandy said...

For anyone viewing this blog, Lareve asked me to let people know that she is in an acute unit at the moment.

She is safe and says she will update me with any news that she wants added here, until she returns and can update herself.