Thursday, July 30, 2009

No More Loraz and pill counting

Quiet few days while my mood continues to snow dive. Haven't been leaving house or changing clothes accept where neccesary which is a bad sign.
Care co-ordinator came round on tuesday and we talked about contraception as I can't be on ~Depakote without anything permanent. I think they prob would be happiest if I was sterilised like they used to do in the fifties. I was then given some time with the shrink on wednesday only I fell asleep and was late. I have been falling asleep in the day a lot, reasons being I am getting little sleep at night and that I am taking Lorazepam in the day to stop the thoughts which are coming back, thoughts that I am evil and crap and not worthy of life. And so the Loraz leave me in a semi state of conciousness where I forget what I have discussed with people after they have left. The Psychiastrist is stopping the Lorazepam for Diazepam not sure it will help me as much and I have a nice stack of sleeping pills which I no longer use as ineffective just put away for eventualities.


Abysmal Musings said...

Hello my dear, if the sleeping pills don't work, just throw them away. Easiest course of action.

You're not evil - you're the last person I'd think of who would fit that bill.

Anyway, sending you a big hug and want you to know you're in my thoughts.

take care, Dx

p.s. I'm supposed to be picking that jug up from the kiln tomorrow - pm me your address and I'll post it next week.

WillSpirit said...

I have been left with impaired fertility as a result of psychiatric medications. It turns out the drugs I was on are known to do this---it's even in the package insert. No one warned me. No follow-up research on long-term and population-wide fertility effects of these meds has been done. I feel like if they were asthma medications this issue would have been exhaustively explored. But because the drugs are for psych patients... After all, wouldn't it be better if we all just quit breeding?

fellow struggler said...

hey you're not evil nor worthless , we simply live in a world where those who get ahead pretend they are so much better and worthier than we are. look at MPs for example, outwardly their paragons of virtue and selfless committment to humanity but behind the scenes as we saw from the recent expenses scandal they are ruthless greedy bastards. you're not ripping anyone off, waging war or physically harming anyone in anyway or flogging drugs to minors. you are having a rough time of things but that doesnt make you bad or worthless it means you are human and just struggling to cope with life and that's worthy of our understanding , compassion and respect . stay as well as you can and good luck with the new meds.

La-reve said...

Abysmal- Will pm you, should throw the sleeping tablets away as they are a temptation when feeling low and suicidal. But not in that place at mo which is good.

Willspirit - Yes I agree, they would prefer us to stop breeding

Fellow struggler- Thanks for coming by and commenting. Feelings of being evil and worthless come with the low mood, but better now