Thursday, August 6, 2009

A stable week

I am not depressed anymore. In fact at the moment I am actually feeling ok. I have had the best week I can remember in that I have been stable.

On monday I didn't take my meds. That is because I wanted to test out the theory of whther my body was dependant on them, do I need them?. Result was no sleep at all. I was out in the rain at 2 am.Pacing,cooking,over alert. The other thing that concerns me is my memory, I can't seem to remember things. Like What I said to my care co-ordinator last time she came round(less than week ago) Or what I got up to when in hospital. I think this is down to meds. I also got withdrawal shakes. Conclusion is that I take the meds for now, but I am scared that I will have to take them for the rest of my life or go back to having the symptoms of my illness plus drug withdrawal symptoms, so worse than being back to square one. I hate taking these pills they stick in my throat on the way down, but I can't risk being in hospital on a section 3. And I am beginning to feel balanced on them.

I saw occupational health at work last week. She declared me unfit to work, with the sleeping in the day and all the meds, and the fact I was in hospital six weeks prior and nearly under MHA she said she doesn't think I would sustain a return, so I have been signed off for another month. I am relieved but I could do with some income. I haven't been claiming benefits but have applied for Employment support allowance now for at least some money to tied me over. We'll see.


Anonymous said...

Hi La-reve,
I've been here before but probably under my other google account. Just want to let you know that if you need a hand with the benefit claim business, I can help. Sounds like you could well be eligable for a rate of DLA (disability living allownace) as well as ESA. It's a good idea to get an independent advice worker to help with filling in the forms (ESA claims can be made over the phone) since there are a few pitfalls if you're not on familiar terms.
anyway, if you need assistance you can email me

Anonymous said...

sorry, that should have been - small but rather crucial typo!

Mandy said...

Glad you are having a stable week.

What I could do with is a week in a stable. :>)

Glad Kate has offered assistance in regards to benefits as things change so quickly.

I was in the chemist the other day and someone was saying they were on Employment Support Allowance and that seemed to confuse the chemist because it wasn't identified on the prescription form as an excemption benefit. They had recently gone back to work having been off for quite some time due to illness. No I didn't ask...the person was just trying to work out if that entitled her to free prescriptions and felt obliged (under pressure) to explain her you do when you are in these sorts of situations.

Anyway, hope things stay positive even with all the possibly maybes xxx