Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Tears and resolutions

Today have been tearful. I remember once as a child my Dad would say whatever happens you must never cry. There was physical consequences for this but I won't discuss that here. For once though I am letting the tears flow, well not so much letting as being unable to stop them.

I went to Shrink appointment and managed not to cry there. I told him I had stopped meds for few days. I told him about the thoughts and my low mood. We have decided that I just take the Depakote if I like, until next week and not the Quetiapine. As for my sleep he has prescribed me Clonazepam which I think this will work as it did in hospital. We will review this next week. I can ring Crisis if things get worse.

My CC is coming round tommorow to collect all my old meds I have horded particularly the 40 Zolpidem that play on my mind. I know this is sensible but I just don't want to give them up. If things get too bad they are my last way to silence the thoughts. And I know how that sounds, but I feel like I need to have them there. Will try and do the right thing.

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