Friday, February 26, 2010

Didn't go away conversation with mum made me realise being selfish. Besides i take ME with me, which is the problem.
Got letter from DWP yesterday thought is was my appeal decision but request for sicknote. I have made appointment to see GP on monday. Last time I went she would only give me four weeks and that was after asking me every question. She was not sympathetic I came out in tears. I don;t think she believes that mental illness is real. She was the only doctor available so dreading that one.

Saw today she was trying to psycho-analyse me - apparantly I have a hidden anger problem(?) and she believes that the psychotic high me as all powerful is a defense mechanism I use to escape the monotony and weakness I show in everyday life. Or whatever, I don't take kindly to people spouting out theories they have read in some hotshot quack manual. But if I protest its simply becuase it has hit too close to mark (apparently)

I am still extremely stressed by ESA. I appealed about four weeks ago and not heard if have to go to tribunal. Everytime I see the postman I cringe. But I would rather know (I think). refering me to Welfare rights not sure what they will/can do.

On mood scale I am 7.5 out of ten. towards high. Lack of sleep. I feel like skin crawling. I need to sleep but they will only give me crappy Zolpidem apparently. They know what lack of sleep does but they won't help me . I could buy some Diazepam from net but heard that is full of other crap and not the actual stuff.

Oh well life goes on...


David said...

Hi La Reve - you can always demand to see another Doc if they say the dreadful phrase: "Is Dr XXXXXX ok?"

We do take Me with us always - sometimes that Me enjoys a different environment, and sometimes it doesn't... it's a tricky one.

Your anecdote about your C.C. is another example of how sexist MH services are. They don't treat men (or at least, me) so rudely. It really makes me angry.

Hope the mood fizzles out. Skin crawling myself a bit tonight. Moon? Agree about Zolpidem or the other one... Zopiclone. Never worked for me. (Never had a pam, so can't compare.)

Life goes on, and so it does. Saw the first crocus today. Take care dear, Dx

Ruby Tuesday said...

I really hope that you hear from the DWP soon ... the wait is so frustrating. Take care x