Sunday, September 12, 2010

Sorry- I need to say this.(pityful post)

Well I have been on Lithium for about two months now. It's not working. I didn't expect it would.......

I feel so monochrome at the moment. Like a picasso where all the colour is drained and all that is left in a sketchy outline. I feel a physical pain like I've never felt it before. I know its not really physical but it feels so.......

Treading Water

Counting hours

Hiding tears that overspill into streams

Searching best ways .... easy way.... deleting browser history

I feel like that cat in the wheelie bin - except no one to rescue me.and I wouldn't want rescuing.

I guess I had pinned my hopes on Lithium working. Postponed plans, put away aparatus now I'm back on that road.

I guess the whole CMHT and reconfirmation of Bipolar hit home as well. I can't help thinking why me, why did I get ill. But then I feel pathetic when people have real problems. I don't think I can or will ever accept it. Rather, better to be ..........

3 comments:

NOS said...

I'm sorry that you feel like lithium isn't helping. I can relate to having tried meds (a multitude of meds) and become disappointed in their results. I know how much it sucks and I wish you weren't going through this. Please know that I am here thinking about you and supporting you and hoping for the best. I'm in your corner.

Wishing you well,
NOS

Mavis Cruitz said...

Hi Hon
What other medication are you on?
I struggled for years while they pissed about with my meds. Im now stable on a cocktail of lithium, quetiapine, lamotrogine, duloxetine, promazine and diazepam. Its alot but Im stable at least. What have you tried before. My email ad is j9024937@live.tees.ac.uk if you want to chat or anything.
Sending hugs xxx

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