Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Counting with La-Reve

Last few days been hard. I cant drown his/the noise out and I cant leave house because I feel like people are watching me and police going to come put me in hospital. People can see my evil thinking. People would not understand and I cant pretend. anyhow I took a lot clonaz, some valproate,some Lithium, some Lamotrigine some Lorazepam and some quetiapine. And end result 8 hours sleep last night but keep being sick. On plus quiet and less noise I feel more in control but hazy and shaky whilst body filters. Lots of mood stabiliser left me feeling stable if little disorientated.

Anyhow I wrote this on last appointment with shrink and as I cant think of anything else to post. Will call it counting with La-Reve.

1- Number of refferals for therapy- resulting in 5 sessions of CBT- go me!!

2.5-Number of years been under Mental health services

3- The number of CMHT I've been under in above time

4- Number of times detained under S.136 of Mental Health Act and taken to cells.

5- Number of Admissions to Psychiatric wards

6- Number of Psychaitrists I have seen for diagnosis and treatment

7- Number of Care co-ordinators I've had in under 3 years in secondary services

8- Well 8 is just special for too many reasons

9- Number of times picked up and escorted home or hospital by police(could be more?)

10-Number of Mental Health Act Assesments inflicted on me in the last 2 years

and :-

27- number of hours spent in police custody for being mental outside ones home.


mememe said...

I hope that you are able to get help with the OD as necessary. Worried.
It sounds so hard to have so much change and inconsistency - seeing so many different workers and psychs in different cmhts in such a short space of time. How on earth to build a working relationship when things change so much? Am thinking of you x

Differently Sane said...

{{{hugs}}] nothing else to say. Some of those numbers are ridiculously high for 2 and a half years - like the number of CCs, psychs and MHAct assessments...

I'd tell you to be safe with regards ODing - it's a dangerous game, but I'm sure you're aware. I wish I knew what to suggest, what would help... I wish I could take some of this away from you for a while so you could get some proper rest.

I don't think you're evil.

Take care,

anickdaler said...

You're not evil and people most likely arem't looking at you in the street. I know you won't believe me in these things, but just occasionally I am right ;) Statistics are horrible to look back on. You've come through so much to get this far, try and keep going.

Pandora said...

Fuckers. Absolute fuckers. You deserve so much better than the pathetic so-called services meted out to you to date.

I wish I could say something helpful, but since I can't, I'm sending lots of virtual hugs.

<3 xxx

Steph said...

Not much to say other than echoing what mememe and Differently have said. Those numbers really are too high in the space of 2.5 years and it must be very hard continually being passed from "pillar to post" like that! Take care and *hugs*
Steph xx