Monday, April 11, 2011

Top search terms and questions answered

I get a lot of google searches that have come up a few times in stats so as I have nothing better to blog, and as something more than usual bleakness I thought I would respond to searches with another post from the draft folder, as in a weird place here still. Anyhow.

Serious Ones
1.What is a psychiatric ward really like?

Answer: Can only speak for the ward I was on in, but think acute wards pretty similar. Well visually not all that different from a normal ward I have pictures under my hospital tag . Except we don't get those expensive electric beds but very basic hard ones. It certainly doesn't look like the ward in one flew over the cuckoos nest, nurses don't wear white- in fact they are unidentifiable from patients, I was often mistaken for a nurse. anyhow difference is every now and again things kick off people shouting, usually followed by nurse restraint and enforced IM sedation. Of course I am told this is bad practice but was a regular occurrence in my ward. If they had time/ could be bothered they would get a screen to preserve modesty as your trousers were pulled down. but usually they did it to full view. Of course if you comply then no need for measures.

Also the ward I was on was locked at all times and doors could only be opened by key card. I found one once and returned it to a very grateful health care assistant. I don't know why I would have loved to get out of there :-/

2. What do Early Intervention/Early intervention in psychosis teams do?

Answer: I'm not sure exactly, maybe someone who works for them in another area might clarify.

In my Early Intervention in psychosis team they really did little for me. they risk managed and assesed me, but I had no therapy, no groups no help with jobs, community groups, building and being integrated in my community. They did very little. I was told it was because I was never well enough but I had two periods of stability with them for 3 months at time. They also were supposed to work with me for 3 years or until recovered enough to go to primary services. Instead they discharged me after 15 months back to team I came from, without reason. Again this is only my team in Nottingham I have heard of some good Early Intervention in psychosis teams.

3. How do I avoid getting sectioned?

Answer: I was thinking of posting on this but not sure if it would be negligent I think I pretty much have the answers, not going to answer for now til I think about it.

4.How do I kill myself/ what is the best way to commit suicide?

Answer: I also get a lot of emails about this, well lets just say that I am alive after several attempts so hello...I do have some fool proof/quick/painless plans but I would not and will never promote or respond to such questions.

5. How do I become bipolar?

Answer: You don't become bipolar, its not a lifestyle choice. Its not fun its not something to aspire to. It has stolen three years of my life thus far, friends, money, jobs, prospects a lot. I also know a lot of people who have lost even more and many, many years. It is a serious illness, it is a nightmare not to be wished on worst enemy. Yes the energy and creativity you sometimes get is great but for me is only small benefit and on a whole it has seriously affected my quality of life.

6. Is bipolar fashionable?

Answer: Not sure why this comes to my blog. But NO, NO, NO. See above, morons.

Funny/strange ones
1. I keep hearing fax machines in my head.

Answer:I get this at least once a day. I guess it must come from current blog title. I have never had this problem but I would suggest following a) check if there are indeed any fax machines in the vicinity. b) Speak to your GP or a mental health professional who may be able assist you further, make an appointment with them or just send them a fax?

2. I am sexually attracted to my/in love with my psychiatrist.

Answer: Well I have never been attracted to any of mine. I can understand why the power thing may be alluring. I would suggest trying to see the relationship for what it is professional. If it becomes obsessional then you prob need a new one. This time be sure to pick the least appealing/ugliest.

3. I like to sleep on trains.

Answer: Thanks for sharing. I quite like to sleep in beds when mood rarely allows.

4. My hair is wild

Answer: Its as if they can see me ;), perhaps the house is bugged. A brush?? >


simpleharmonicmuddle said...

The comment about "just send them a fax" made me giggle!

I used to hear modems, but oddly enough that's stopped nowadays ;) I hear my alarm now instead, gets a bit confusing in the morning. I think my brain just acts a bit like a tape recorder sometimes.

Anonymous said...

It is weird what the search terms come up with and wtf on bipolar ones

SeeSaws said...

That was such a good idea for a post! Really made me giggle on the not so serious ones...